My second son has been engaged to his fiance, Risa, for two years already, and we finally met his fiance’s family for a formal introduction lunch. The first son couldn’t make it to the lunch since he had a video shooting in a remote city. Maybe it was because he was not there that the second and the third son spoke so candidly of their eldest brother.
It all started when Risa’s mother asked if the brothers fought a lot. When the sons responded no, not really, Risa’s mother was so impressed. The two sons agreed that it was probably because the eldest was kind and gentle. They reminisced and marvelled about how the eldest took care of them. The youngest remember of the time when the eldest was helping him with his homework when he had to memorize some passage for his class. In order to make it fun, the eldest created TV quiz show sound effects like buzzer sound when he had it wrong, and the ding-dong sound when he had it right.
Then I realized how I took it for granted that the eldest was always on the lookout for the younger brothers. No wonder why the eldest has declared he will not have any children. He already helped raise two children without any thanks. The eldest is married to a wonderful woman who was in a similar situation as he. She is the eldest in her family with two younger sisters. No doubt she took care of them as well.
Some memories are sweet. Some memories are bitter. This one is not a memory. It is pure revelation of blindness that brought me bitter-sweet feeling. I was stupid and ignorant to not see. But despite my stupidity and ignorance, three sons are decent human beings now.
FUJIKO SUDA 